Few minds have the level of creativity and checkbook to back it up quite like Tesla founder Elon Musk. From Neuralink to normalizing the electric car, Musk has introduced the world to many creative new concepts.
Moving forward, we thought he could use a hand with some neat ideas, so we put together a few fun ones for Musk to get to work on immediately.
Twitter is such a hassle, but Musk is quite a master. By linking Twitter to Neuralink, you’ll be able to automatically set it to do such things as pummel the value of a stock, fight with internet trolls, and even help your boost the next Doge-like cryptocurrency.
Imagine a complete replica of yourself able to deal with life’s duller moments.
AI You is indistinguishable from you to most others. That means you’ll never have to worry about being caught sending the robot to visit your mother-in-law or go out with that nightmarish neighbor couple that won’t shut up about their timeshare. AI You can handle that stuff, so you can think about more important things. Like beer.
RapidSwap is a pill that changes your hair color, clothing accessories, and even your lousy personality. Summer, headed to the beach? Pop it in, and you’re Pamela blonde. If you’re going to the Met-Gala? Fierce red. RapidSwap also saves the environment from hair dyes and toxic manufacturing materials by negating the need for their existence.
Imagine if you could turn your real-life pets into NFTs. A cartoon image that barely resembles your pet at all will be made using the energy of your cat’s soul to ensure the full sustainability of the project. With minimal investment, and obviously the right pet, this could be the secret to retiring early. No refunds.
My Reality Glasses
People are all excited about the metaverse and being able to make their own avatar. It doesn’t matter if you think you should look like a pickle wearing a cowboy hat and a vest, I want glasses that I put on and everyone looks the way I want them to look. In my case, it would be the characters from Bloom County.
ANGR Personal Attack Drones
The man who gave consumers a flamethrower has another inventive and safe new plan: personal attack drones. These are average-sized drones capable of delivering a message to your enemies on three power levels, including warning shot, last chance, and nuclear winter. That jerk around the corner who hasn’t returned your mower? Blow up his grill. The guy on the other corner who hasn’t returned your wife? Give him a full meltdown backed by Tesla’s powerful warranty. Optional vehicle-mounted road rage launcher sold separately.
Gesture-Based Home Security
The idea behind gesture-based home security is to gamify your home security system. Different gestures can result in a variety of actions like locking your doors, adjusting your lighting, and notifying the police. For a nominal upcharge, in times of crisis it can be programmed to blast Do You Love Me by The Contours.