Despite its usefulness, the internet is a bastion of futility. Nowadays, we use the internet for everything, which would make it anything but pointless. But the internet hasn’t always been the helpful source of information it is now. Since its birth in 1991, people have used the internet to create just about anything and everything. The internet is a bottomless well of websites, and not all of them are winners. Luckily for you, I have too much time on my hands and have productively combed the internet for those websites that haven’t gotten the proper acknowledgement for their ingenuity in the art of pointlessness. So, without further ado, here are the eight most pointless websites on the internet.
[Note: Some of these websites are old, like pre-smartphone old. If you’re reading this on your phone, then I cannot guarantee their functionality. So, go use a computer where the internet belongs]
Ah, Zombo Com. The first on our list truly defines “artistically worthless.” The site originated in 1999 when a group of students and faculty from George Washington University Center for Professional Development wanted to play around with a brand new technology: flash animation. Yes, even flash animation was new at one point and this group took advantage of all it had to offer.
The site is aesthetically pleasing enough, hosting bright colors and audio motivational messages such as, “Anything is possible at Zombo Com.” And that’s really it. For its minimalist style, the site is strangely alluring. It’s a nice flashback to when technology was simpler and not so pervasive. It’s good for a pick-me-up, maybe a minute of entertainment, and that’s about it.
Sick of having to locate your cursor on your own volition? Love looking at pictures of people you’ve never met before? This website was made for you, I guess. PointerPointer may look simple and well, pointless… but underneath it’s triviality lies a hidden sophistication. On the surface, all the user has to do is place their cursor on the screen. After a few seconds, a picture will pop up that points to your cursor. Fascinating stuff.
But, what makes this website so neat isn’t just the endless amount of people pointing in photos, but really it’s the site’s accuracy and ability to find your cursor perfectly. The basics that I could gather was that the site uses a Voronoi Diagram to find the X and Y coordinates of your cursor and then display the corresponding picture. The database seems to have unlimited pictures for every nook and cranny that you can fit your cursor into, so who knows how long it took to gather all of those photos. But, as I said, this site is surprisingly complex (at least to a computer amateur like me), so here’s a video that better explains all that’s going on. But at the end of the day, this site isn’t really good for much unless you don’t know how to locate your own cursor or if you want to scour the photo database for your future spouse.
With a name like CacheMonet, how can this website not be one of the most awesome gems on the internet? Like the other sites on this list, it does nothing more than briefly entertain. The Unix Philosophy coined the age old adage, “Do one thing and do it well.” While it’s hard to actually figure out what CacheMonet’s one thing is, few people would deny that they do it well.
The website essentially takes you on a visually intoxicating journey through 90s internet media, featuring a song built by Windows 95 sound bites that is sure to be stuck in your head for literally the rest of your life. As they say on the site, “cachemonet is an exploration into the serendipitous collisions that occur between two randomly generated arrays.” I’m hesitant to tell you more, as CacheMonet is an experience in itself and must be treated as such. I could describe it to you, but it’s probably better if you just see it for yourself. It’s good for displaying on your TVs during house parties and revisiting the beauty of the 90s.
If you’re still reading this post about pointless websites (making the post in itself pointless), then you’re probably starting to realize that the name of these sites usually tells most of the story. Zombo.com is all about Zombo Com, PointerPointer points to your pointer. Well, no site is as true to its name as SometimesRedSometimesBlue. I’ll give you a second to guess what it might do…
Yep. Sometimes it displays a red screen, and sometimes blue. That’s it. This is by far the simplest and most aimless website on this list. And that is what makes it so fantastic. I mean, in this age of tech where everything does something, it’s refreshing to find something that quite literally does nothing. Due to its simplicity, there isn’t much to say about the website. It doesn’t go back and forth between red and blue — you may get 3 reds in a row. This site is good for the gambling person or just someone who needs a cheap thrill.
I’m not quite sure what I’m looking at, here. It’s pipes, maybe? That’s the best I can come up with. I guess it’s kind of like that Windows 3D Pipes Screensaver had an existential crisis. The site has no sound and nothing to click. It’s just endless zooming on the world of constantly respawning gray boxes. I imagine it’s what the other side of black hole might look like. Despite its name, or perhaps because of it, nothing ever opens. Or maybe the site is named after the phrase that people started shouting after hours of visual torture.
Obviously my descriptions of it aren’t doing any good, so you’ll probably have to go check it out on your own. Just beware of being sucked into the abyss of this existential purgatory.
Boy, does this one live up to its name. This is easily my least favorite website on the list. Not because of it’s lack of entertainment value or content, but because it is so annoying. I got stuck on this website for five minutes. Literally stuck. I was not able to exit it because I had lost control of my cursor. Five minutes may not sound like a long time, but just think about the last time you were actually stuck on a website. It doesn’t happen that often, does it?
I hesitate to tell you what this site does so that you can feel the same pain that I did, but luckily I’m in a generous mood. It basically inverts all of your cursor movements and makes it impossible to access your address bar from below. It may not sound like that much of a pain, but I assure you it is. Or maybe I’m just incompetent. Probably a mix of both. But, I encourage you to give it a try and see how you deal with the Annoying Cursor.
What’s fascinating about this website is that at one point in time, it actually had a purpose. As you probably guessed, this is the original website for the 1996 film Space Jam. A site that once worked to promote the film is now no more than a relic. But the intrigue here is that everything still works. You can still play the games, click the links, and do the other few things that the website has to offer (remember, this was 1996, so the site doesn’t do much).
Also, the site is so 90s it hurts. Well, it doesn’t hurt. It’s actually pretty awesome. So, if you’re a millennial like me and love Space Jam — apparently we all do — or if you just like Internet history, then you should probably check out this website.
And now, the cornerstone of all pointless websites. If you were unsatisfied with my picks and analyses of useless sites, then try Pointless.com. Just click a button and the site will randomly generate even more fruitless internet content. It’s perfect for those who need to procrastinate or just have extremely boring existences like my own.